As infants develop, they experience various emotions, usually in a relatively predictable sequence. Before eight months, infants are so new to the world that they have little knowledge of what is ordinary and what may be dangerous, so new situations or experiences seem usual, not frightening.
In normal development, this early period involves the establishment of familiarity with the home environment, and a feeling of safety and comfort when parents or other known caretakers are present. After this time, lack of familiarity often produces fear because the infant recognizes that something unusual is going on.
From 8 to 14 months, children often become frightened when they meet new people or visit new places. They recognize their parents as familiar and safe. When separated from parents, particularly when away from home, they feel threatened and unsafe.
Separation anxiety is a normal development stage. It helped keep our ancestors alive and helps children learn how to master their environment. It usually ends around 2 years old, when toddlers begin to understand that parents may be out of sight now, but will return later. At this age, there is also a normal desire to test their autonomy.
Resolution of separation anxiety depends on an adequate sense of safety and trust in people other than parents, trust and safety in their home environment, and trust in their parent's return.
Even after children have successfully mastered this developmental stage, separation anxiety may return during periods of stress. Most children will experience some degree of separation anxiety when in unfamiliar situations, especially when separated from parents.
When children are in situations (such as hospitals) and are experiencing stress (such as illness or pain), they seek the safety, comfort, and protection of their parents. When parents cannot be with their children in these situations, the child experiences distress.
This is why it is important to stay with your child as much as is possible during any medical procedures. Your presence can actually reduce the amount of pain the child experiences, as anxiety of any kind makes pain worse.
